Family happenings

Pockets has joined a t-ball team and has been enjoying time with Daddy practicing and with Daddy on the field as an assistant coach.

Pockets and Mommy have been going on "dates" recently to spend some quality time together.

This picture of little sis clearly shows that she has devil horns somewhere under her crazy hair. She is a terror! 

Little Sis is growing up a ton though.  She passed right through 24 months clothes and is now wearing 2t clothes.  Pockets on the other hand is wearing two totally different sizes.  When we bought summer clothes for him this past weekend we had to buy 3T shorts (which were still a little large in the waist) but then had to go to the "big kid" section to get shirts that would fit since he needed small 4/5 size.  Crazy tall and thin!

We are having a blast hanging out with our homegroup and all the kids.  We went to Chick-Fil-A the other day and had dinner.  As you can see there are equal number of children to adults as of now with Pockets being the oldest of all of them!  Once Caleb gets here we will officially be out numbered.

 

 

Legos have been a recent big hit around here.  Little Sis likes to just sort them by color and take them in and out of the box, but Pockets is getting really good and following directions to make all sorts of houses and vehicles.

This is our new view from the front seat.  We officially have three car seat in the second row.  Although the kids seem to be happy about getting to sit next to each other, their love/hate relationship makes it absolutes miserable to try and have the keep their hands to themselves as we drive down the road.

 

Lastly here is picture of our new stash of diapers.  That's right we have decided to cloth diaper this next child for several different reasons.  1. the cost of disposables is unreal  2. we are blown away by the amount of waste the disposables create and realize that it takes a lifetime for them to disintegrate in the landfill  3. cloth diapers are absolutely nothing like they were even five years ago and are actually just as easy as disposables.  4. As a total plus, they are amazingly cute. 

Maternity Pictures

We are 29 weeks today and I am still feeling good considering.  Here are some pics that a friend of mine took while in Dallas last weekend.

sonogram today

just a quick update...

i had an extra / non routine sonogram today to assess the possibility of preterm labor. it was nothing crazy, just a single picture with a single measurement. the results though are extremely useful.Research shows that if the measurement is greater than 3.5 then the average length of pregnancy is 36 weeks or more (meaning full term). my number today was 3.9! 

now there are always cases that dont follow research, but we are continuing to pray and believe that this baby will not be born early but rather happy and healthy so he can come home with us right away. 

As precaution though, im still taking it easy by limiting my physical activity as much as possible, and will continue taking weekly hormone shots till delivery. 

thanks for everyones prayers! 

The Story of Caleb

For the last few weeks I have been studying the story of Caleb in the Bible.  It's not a well known story so let me try and paraphrase it. 

Caleb is introduced in  Numbers 13.  Moses and the people of Israel had been traveling to Canaan which was the land that God had promised to them.  God spoke to Moses and told him to send one man from each of the twelve tribes to check out the land to see if it was fertile and if it was inhabited.  One of the men that Moses appointed was Caleb.  He and eleven other men left for 40 days to check on the land.  When they returned, they brought proof of the fruitfulness and agreed that the land flowed with milk and honey just as God had promised.   When they spoke about the people there though ten of the men recommended that Moses and the Israelites not pursue the land because the people who lived there were big, strong, and in great numbers.   Caleb then quieted the crowds and tried to convince them that if this was the land that God had promised then they should go.  The other men were more convincing to the crowd though and Moses finally gave in and said that they would not go to Canaan as God had commanded.  Because of Moses and the Israelites choice to rebel against God, the Lord punished the entire group causing them to wander in the desert for 40 years until all the adults at the time died.  The only exception was made for Caleb and Joshua (another of the twelve spies) because they remained faithful even when things seemed impossible. 

This story has really hit home for Ryan and I this past year.  So many times in the last year I am sure we looked like crazy idiots that were making poor decisions but we felt strongly that this was God's plan for us. Here are a few examples...
*Spend thousands of dollars on a remodel to our house in a down market so that we could hope to put it for sale.
*Move out of our house and in with my mom and instead trust tenants to take care of our house not knowing what our future would hold.
*Move to Lubbock with two weeks notice and only a week before Christmas so that I could take a part time job even though we had no potential job for Ryan lined up.
*Continue the house selling process with a buyer that was more than difficult when most would have walked away. 
*Ryan turned down several full time job offers from companies here in Lubbock due to reasons that were hard to explain but mostly just because we were not at peace.
*Allow God to have complete control over our family including the possibility of more children in the future even though we were not financially stable.

In all these situations any number of people could have questioned if we were really following God's lead or were we making choices for our own motivation.  Many of our dearest Christian friends did in fact ask, but Ryan and I continued to seek the Lord's direction and follow Him no matter how crazy we appeared to society.  God just "showed up" too many times for us to question Him. 
*We were able to pay off all the house repairs with Ryan's second job
*Blessed to have a place to live for several months that allowed for us to save money and rest with our preemie little girl
*My job was flexible enough to make the move easier and to work more when need be and then decrease when we could. Also, the care of therapy we received due to living in Lubbock was so much better for Little Sis.
*Eventually selling our house and bringing less than $1000 to the table.
*Ryan finding the most AMAZING job, exactly as he could desire and with great potential.
*Have unexplainable peace with being pregnant with our third child even though the future is unknown.

So now back to the story of Caleb.  As you might imagine I have felt a strong connection to this story as I have been reading and studying more about this great follower of God.  So when Ryan and I started talking about names for this new bundle of joy, Caleb was first on my mind.  It only took a little persuasion to get Ryan on board (he got to chose the middle name).  With that we are proud to announce the name of our third child....

CALEB ANDREW GRAVES!

It's a .....

Well the excitement is finally over and the results as to the gender of Graves baby #3 is finally out. 

We had a great party with Mommy, Daddy, and William's friends.  We had the party at our house, and since none of us knew the gender all the decorations were pink and blue.  Each person who came was encouraged to wear either pink or blue to show their support.  There were only four people that knew the gender before Ryan and I. The sonographer, the floral lady, and my dear sweet friend Eryn and her husband who were the ones to fill the box!. 

Here are some quick pics of the party decorations. 

 

We answered some old wives tales to see what they predicted the gender to be.  10 for told a boy and 9 for told a girl.  As a whole group 9 people voted for a boy and 4 voted for a girl. Below is a picture of each team. 

There was lots of excitement leading up to the reveal both Mommy and Daddy were anxious.  The kids however were more interested in the cupcakes.

Here are a few more before pictures. William was very hopeful for a brother as you can tell by his shirt.  And I agreed to a baby bump picture.  Here is also one last picture of the whole family before we found out.

So here we go....

One......

Two.....

Three!!!!!

That right.....



It's A BOY!!!

Can you see William's excitement!!!!!!

Ultrasound appointment

william and daddy in the waiting room for the sonogram yesterday

such a hoot! baby looked great! we didnt learn the gender though as planned.  we cant wait for saturday! 

Upate on Mom and Baby #3

We are halfway there!  I am twenty weeks and I am finally feeling much better and getting some energy back.  Everything has looked good so far and they are hopeful that I will carry this baby further than Little Sis.  To help with that I have been  getting hormone shots for the last four weeks and will contiue to get them weekly until delivery.  They are huge shots and somewhat painful, but Ryan is actually able to give them to me at home.   So far the baby looks great and is moving and kicking a ton.  We have a sonogram next week and will have a gender reveal party on Saturday so that Ryan, Pockets, Little Sis and I can all find out the gender of the baby at the same time. 

Now for more detailed information about doctors, hospitals, and procedures that will probably only be interesting to a few of you, but it more of a verbal processing activity for me so feel free to stop reading.   Also it is really really long!

So when we first moved to Lubbock as I looked for an OB I was interested in finding someone that was VBAC friendly just in case we ever did get pregnant again.(there are no Midwives in Lubbock that I could find).  I asked around and tried to get into everyone that was recommended but everyone was full or was unwilling to just consult with me except for this AMAZING woman that I found and that a dear friend of mine was very pleased with.  She was very sweet and a strong Christian woman.  Her office was very nice and I felt good about my choice. She said that she didn’t do many VBAC’s but that she felt I was a good candidate and would be more than willing to try.  At the time I wasn’t pregnant though so that was enough. 

Well we did have a change of heart over time about the possibility of more children.  Ryan and I felt strongly that we were taking control of our own lives and wanted to give control over to God and trust that He knew better than we did! 

Now that I was pregnant I went to the OB and immediately asked again if she felt that I was a good VBAC candidate which she assured me I was.  As I talked to women and read stories online about VBAC experiences, I started really questioning my current OB.  Each time I talked to her office staff they were amazed that she said I could VBAC and would comment that they didn’t know she would do that.  I would go a few weeks and get worked about what would happen, but each time I would actually see the OB for an appointment she was great and sweet and re-assured me that I could try. 

Several weeks ago, I started watching some documentaries about labor and delivery and started reading the same natural birthing books that I did with first two and it led me to do some research.  What I found was that having a VBAC depends on so many factors including a provider, a hospital, and support staff.  This made me consider using a doula during my labor to help advocate for me when the OB was too jumpy and provide alternative measures at times.  As I started calling doula’s I seemed to get the same feeling with each one.  They were all supportive of my VBAC attempt but felt that I might not have the “most” supportive provider and more than that the most supportive hospital.  They all said they would help, but their recommendation would be to make a change.  Several of the doula’s I spoke too told me to pull the c-section rates from the government’s website and talk to other mom’s to see which hospital they delivered with. 

This is where my amazement began.  I started talking to nurses at both hospitals and moms that have delivered at each one and this is what I found.

Hospital A-   Very pushy about epidurals and wants a mother to have one immediately on admission.  They don’t have many women that use doula or actually prefer un-medicated labor (or so they say) and most astonishing there government reported statistics show that 56% of all women who walk into their hospital will deliver their baby via c-section.  (The national average is 35% and the American College of Ob and Gynn warn about an average greater than 25%!). One Nurse even told me the idea is get moms , make them comfortable,  and get them out as fast as possible so that you can be back in the comfort of your own home.   

Hospital B-  Has been working for the last five years to lower their c-section rate and increase their breast feeding success.  In order to this, they have agreed to pay for any patient to have doula services for free.  Their role is pain management, positioning, and emotional support of mom.  With this women are more likely to have un-medicated natural deliveries because they can tolerate the pain better, are moving in ways to allow the baby to drop, and are able to be successful at actually pushing the baby out.  With the doula services in place now for an extended period of time, the OB’s that work there are more exposed to natural labor which doesn’t always go via the book or protocol.  When I pulled their c-section rates it shows that of all women who walk into their hospital, only 17% will deliver via c-section!  What a difference!

I took this information and realized I had to make a decision. I considered pushing my luck and trusting my OB that she would do a VBAC and I would not be one of the 56% at hospital A (she doesn’t have privledges at hospital B) but I kept coming back to the idea, of what happens if for some reason she is not there.  I mean she has to get lunch, she has to continue to see patients while I am laboring, etc.  I would be trusting my care to the on staff doctor to not push a c-section.  This is what happened with Little Sis.  My midwife had just left for the day and the on staff Fetal Maternal Medicine Doctor felt that I should have a c-section that day so that we would not take the risk of an emergency later.  Knowing that I felt completely out of control and absolutely hated that birth experience,  I knew I would have to make a change!

Well, today I met with a new OB who the doula recommended, and it was kind of mixed emotions.  Her office was great and they assured me from the beginning that she was very VBAC friendly.  When I  met her though the very first phrases out of her mouth, was “I am very VBAC friendly, I have done over a 100 VBAC’s, but I just don’t think you are a very good candidate!”  Wait, what? I don’t understand.  Everyone from my Midwife in Dallas, the OB that did my C-section, and every other professional I have talked to, plus the guildines published by ACOG say I am a great VBAC candidate.  Well we talked and talked some more.  She discussed that since I had a preterm c-section the incision may not be as low in the uterus as most people since I wasn’t as far along.  I then shared more about why I wanted to try a VBAC and the birth histories of the first two kids.  The more we talked the more she realized that I might actually be a good candidate. She made a comment at one point that she strongly disagreed with the Fetal Maternal Medicine doctor that did my c-section and that there was absolutely no reason that should have ever happened to me!  I should have been able to deliver her naturally, a question I asked at the time.

In the end she said we could keep looking into it and after she got the surgery report that could verify some of the anatomy things we discussed she would feel more comfortable. She commented too though, that no matter what, I was the one that would have to make the choice.  She would be supportive of my choice and would try to give me the birth that I desired and if for some reason there was a reason that it would not happen that I would feel in agreement with the plan.   There were lots of other logistics that we discussed but all in all, we are both on the same page and will be moving forward with an un-medicated VBAC attempt at hospital B using a doula!  I think I am still a little hesitant to trust this OB on some level, but examining the research, hospital protocols, and knowing that I will build trust with her over the coming months I feel that there is really nothing more I can personally can do other than PRAY.

With that, we are asking that if you are willing, would you please pray for complete healing of my old c-section, that this baby would make it to full- term, and that I could be prepared emotionally for the journey ahead!  Thanks so much in advance. 

Oh and don’t forget to stay turned for the big gender announcement next weekend!