It's a .....

Well the excitement is finally over and the results as to the gender of Graves baby #3 is finally out. 

We had a great party with Mommy, Daddy, and William's friends.  We had the party at our house, and since none of us knew the gender all the decorations were pink and blue.  Each person who came was encouraged to wear either pink or blue to show their support.  There were only four people that knew the gender before Ryan and I. The sonographer, the floral lady, and my dear sweet friend Eryn and her husband who were the ones to fill the box!. 

Here are some quick pics of the party decorations. 

 

We answered some old wives tales to see what they predicted the gender to be.  10 for told a boy and 9 for told a girl.  As a whole group 9 people voted for a boy and 4 voted for a girl. Below is a picture of each team. 

There was lots of excitement leading up to the reveal both Mommy and Daddy were anxious.  The kids however were more interested in the cupcakes.

Here are a few more before pictures. William was very hopeful for a brother as you can tell by his shirt.  And I agreed to a baby bump picture.  Here is also one last picture of the whole family before we found out.

So here we go....

One......

Two.....

Three!!!!!

That right.....



It's A BOY!!!

Can you see William's excitement!!!!!!

Ultrasound appointment

william and daddy in the waiting room for the sonogram yesterday

such a hoot! baby looked great! we didnt learn the gender though as planned.  we cant wait for saturday! 

Upate on Mom and Baby #3

We are halfway there!  I am twenty weeks and I am finally feeling much better and getting some energy back.  Everything has looked good so far and they are hopeful that I will carry this baby further than Little Sis.  To help with that I have been  getting hormone shots for the last four weeks and will contiue to get them weekly until delivery.  They are huge shots and somewhat painful, but Ryan is actually able to give them to me at home.   So far the baby looks great and is moving and kicking a ton.  We have a sonogram next week and will have a gender reveal party on Saturday so that Ryan, Pockets, Little Sis and I can all find out the gender of the baby at the same time. 

Now for more detailed information about doctors, hospitals, and procedures that will probably only be interesting to a few of you, but it more of a verbal processing activity for me so feel free to stop reading.   Also it is really really long!

So when we first moved to Lubbock as I looked for an OB I was interested in finding someone that was VBAC friendly just in case we ever did get pregnant again.(there are no Midwives in Lubbock that I could find).  I asked around and tried to get into everyone that was recommended but everyone was full or was unwilling to just consult with me except for this AMAZING woman that I found and that a dear friend of mine was very pleased with.  She was very sweet and a strong Christian woman.  Her office was very nice and I felt good about my choice. She said that she didn’t do many VBAC’s but that she felt I was a good candidate and would be more than willing to try.  At the time I wasn’t pregnant though so that was enough. 

Well we did have a change of heart over time about the possibility of more children.  Ryan and I felt strongly that we were taking control of our own lives and wanted to give control over to God and trust that He knew better than we did! 

Now that I was pregnant I went to the OB and immediately asked again if she felt that I was a good VBAC candidate which she assured me I was.  As I talked to women and read stories online about VBAC experiences, I started really questioning my current OB.  Each time I talked to her office staff they were amazed that she said I could VBAC and would comment that they didn’t know she would do that.  I would go a few weeks and get worked about what would happen, but each time I would actually see the OB for an appointment she was great and sweet and re-assured me that I could try. 

Several weeks ago, I started watching some documentaries about labor and delivery and started reading the same natural birthing books that I did with first two and it led me to do some research.  What I found was that having a VBAC depends on so many factors including a provider, a hospital, and support staff.  This made me consider using a doula during my labor to help advocate for me when the OB was too jumpy and provide alternative measures at times.  As I started calling doula’s I seemed to get the same feeling with each one.  They were all supportive of my VBAC attempt but felt that I might not have the “most” supportive provider and more than that the most supportive hospital.  They all said they would help, but their recommendation would be to make a change.  Several of the doula’s I spoke too told me to pull the c-section rates from the government’s website and talk to other mom’s to see which hospital they delivered with. 

This is where my amazement began.  I started talking to nurses at both hospitals and moms that have delivered at each one and this is what I found.

Hospital A-   Very pushy about epidurals and wants a mother to have one immediately on admission.  They don’t have many women that use doula or actually prefer un-medicated labor (or so they say) and most astonishing there government reported statistics show that 56% of all women who walk into their hospital will deliver their baby via c-section.  (The national average is 35% and the American College of Ob and Gynn warn about an average greater than 25%!). One Nurse even told me the idea is get moms , make them comfortable,  and get them out as fast as possible so that you can be back in the comfort of your own home.   

Hospital B-  Has been working for the last five years to lower their c-section rate and increase their breast feeding success.  In order to this, they have agreed to pay for any patient to have doula services for free.  Their role is pain management, positioning, and emotional support of mom.  With this women are more likely to have un-medicated natural deliveries because they can tolerate the pain better, are moving in ways to allow the baby to drop, and are able to be successful at actually pushing the baby out.  With the doula services in place now for an extended period of time, the OB’s that work there are more exposed to natural labor which doesn’t always go via the book or protocol.  When I pulled their c-section rates it shows that of all women who walk into their hospital, only 17% will deliver via c-section!  What a difference!

I took this information and realized I had to make a decision. I considered pushing my luck and trusting my OB that she would do a VBAC and I would not be one of the 56% at hospital A (she doesn’t have privledges at hospital B) but I kept coming back to the idea, of what happens if for some reason she is not there.  I mean she has to get lunch, she has to continue to see patients while I am laboring, etc.  I would be trusting my care to the on staff doctor to not push a c-section.  This is what happened with Little Sis.  My midwife had just left for the day and the on staff Fetal Maternal Medicine Doctor felt that I should have a c-section that day so that we would not take the risk of an emergency later.  Knowing that I felt completely out of control and absolutely hated that birth experience,  I knew I would have to make a change!

Well, today I met with a new OB who the doula recommended, and it was kind of mixed emotions.  Her office was great and they assured me from the beginning that she was very VBAC friendly.  When I  met her though the very first phrases out of her mouth, was “I am very VBAC friendly, I have done over a 100 VBAC’s, but I just don’t think you are a very good candidate!”  Wait, what? I don’t understand.  Everyone from my Midwife in Dallas, the OB that did my C-section, and every other professional I have talked to, plus the guildines published by ACOG say I am a great VBAC candidate.  Well we talked and talked some more.  She discussed that since I had a preterm c-section the incision may not be as low in the uterus as most people since I wasn’t as far along.  I then shared more about why I wanted to try a VBAC and the birth histories of the first two kids.  The more we talked the more she realized that I might actually be a good candidate. She made a comment at one point that she strongly disagreed with the Fetal Maternal Medicine doctor that did my c-section and that there was absolutely no reason that should have ever happened to me!  I should have been able to deliver her naturally, a question I asked at the time.

In the end she said we could keep looking into it and after she got the surgery report that could verify some of the anatomy things we discussed she would feel more comfortable. She commented too though, that no matter what, I was the one that would have to make the choice.  She would be supportive of my choice and would try to give me the birth that I desired and if for some reason there was a reason that it would not happen that I would feel in agreement with the plan.   There were lots of other logistics that we discussed but all in all, we are both on the same page and will be moving forward with an un-medicated VBAC attempt at hospital B using a doula!  I think I am still a little hesitant to trust this OB on some level, but examining the research, hospital protocols, and knowing that I will build trust with her over the coming months I feel that there is really nothing more I can personally can do other than PRAY.

With that, we are asking that if you are willing, would you please pray for complete healing of my old c-section, that this baby would make it to full- term, and that I could be prepared emotionally for the journey ahead!  Thanks so much in advance. 

Oh and don’t forget to stay turned for the big gender announcement next weekend!

open house at School

We had an Open house at school tonight and a mini-performance by Pocket's class.  I didn't have time to edit the pictures but didn't think you would care :>

 

 

Sweet Girl in her Christmas Shirt

 William was very shy and didn't want to participate.  He was compeltely able to sing the songs and had told me the word to the poem they said several times over th past week.  Silent as a mouse though tonight.

Got to pet a donkey and a pony in the staged inn.

 

Little Sis apparently is not as afraid of Santa as I thought she would be. 

Freckles the Elf

Pockets and Little Sis got a package on the front porch today.  It came with a letter from Santa and a small elf doll named Freckles. 

 

 

Daddy read the letter outloud from Santa so that we could all hear.

 

Per Santa's request Freckles was part of our Advent lessons tonight.  Crazy kid!

 

Little Sis loved playing with Freckles today.  Here she is putting her back in bed for the night.

 

The two sweethearts are excited to see if Freckles makes a good choice tonight.

 

 

More than likely she will be on her best behavior tonight, but will probably have a slip up in the coming days when they are not expecting it.  :)

 

Here is a copy of the letter that Santa sent. 

 

Dear William and Adalynn,

First of all I have to tell you that I think you are both very special.  I know you are filled with love for each other and your parents, but more importantly, you are learning to love Jesus.  Did you know that I believe and love Jesus? Well, I do!

Because I believe in Jesus I have to tell you something very important.  You know that whole naughty and nice list that everyone is talking about? Well the truth is, I don’t really have a naughty and nice list. Because I believe in Jesus, I have learned about grace and being saved from what we deserve.  I know you are learning about Jesus and his grace for us too.  Like when you make a bad choice and when you choose sin, Jesus gives you grace and loves you still! And sometimes I know your parents give you grace too… like when you deserve to be disciplined, but they give you another chance!  Nobody is perfect but I know that Jesus loves us all the time no matter what.  I also care about you and want to give good gifts to you no matter what.  So you don’t need to be worried about being naughty or nice for me to come to your house. If you believe that I will come to your house and leave you a special surprise, then I will come!

The second part of this letter is to ask you a favor.  I know that you and your parents have been doing the Advent lessons to learn more about God, his son Jesus, and the reason for Christmas celebrations.  These are important lessons and I know that you are learning a lot.  I have a special friend of mine that would like to hear these lessons too.  This is Freckles the elf…..

She is a dear friend of mine, but recently has been struggling to make good choices.  I have explained grace to her several times and explained why Jesus had to come, to rescue all of us from sin, but she still needs to learn more.  I thought that if she stayed with you until I come on Christmas Eve, that you might be able to include her in your advent lessons so that she could learn more about how Jesus loves us. I know that you both are learning to obey God because he first loved you.  I care about Freckles dearly and want her to know that God loves her too. 

One important thing about Freckles is that she is an elf and elves are not the same as humans. Freckles stays still during the day, but moves around at night.  You can talk to her and play with her though just like Monkey and Jingles.  Freckles loves to take adventures especially at night, but this is typically when she can get in trouble too by making bad choices, so you will have to check on her each morning and make sure that she is still in her bed. 

When I told Freckles that she was coming to stay with you, she jumped up and down with excitement! She really thinks you guys are a lot of fun, and she can’t wait to learn more about how you treat each other, how you love God, and more about Texas.  It is really cold here at the North Pole, so she is excited about the warmer weather. 

Have Fun! I’ll be back on Christmas Eve to pick up Freckles and will drop off a surprise for both of you!  If you happen to not be at home though for Christmas Eve, just bring Freckles with you on vacation and I will pick her up wherever you are!

Thanks so much,

Santa

 

 

 

Pictures

A huge thanks to Laura H.  a friend of ours in Lubbock for taking some really sweet famly pictures.  I tried to pick some of our favorites to post here. 




Simple and sweet holiday picture

 



Little Sis is so photogenic

Just a few more family pics!




Pockets is such a cheeser.  He was so exctied to
 wear his boots. 

 

 

Not even joking that these are the only two pictures of sweet little girl alone.  This is exactly how she acts all day long. 





Now here is our favorite pic of the session and the main reason why we had them made...

Long time to see

It has been several weeks since I have written anything and I am sorry about that but like always, time is short.  I have been working almost a full time schedule with ECI and I have picked up a few private therapy kids too.  Ryan has been working from home while the kids are at Parent's Day Out and being a wonderful Stay at Home Daddy the remainder of the week.  Plus then you add soccer games on Saturday and all the chores for the house and that just doesn't leave a lot of time for relaxation. 

Hopefully though, I will have more time at home soon and Ryan will be fulfilled by his work.  That right Ryan got a job!  

When we moved here, Ryan felt that he really wanted to make a career change, but knew that getting into something that he had no experience with would be difficult.  We decided to look into both civil engineering firms (what he has done for ten years) and commercial construction companies (what he really wants to do). We made a budget and determined what amount of money we would need to pay the bills and determined our minimal salary we would accept.  Right away when we moved here he got an offer from engineering firm #1 but the salary was significantly lower than we needed.  Soon after that Ryan got an offer from construction firm #1 and the salary was only slightly below so we thought long and hard about and accepted their offer hoping that there would be a chance for salary adjustment in the near future.  When Ryan called to accept the offer (only two days) they said that they had changed their mind.  Month after month passed and no offers from from anyone.  All the construction firms (#3, #4, #5, #6) in town kept saying the same thing "if we win this next project you are who we will be calling" but apparently it was never the right timing.  Somewhere in early 2012 we got an offer from engineering firm #2 but again the salary was significantly low.  What Ryan was making in 12 hours a week at home was what he would be making working 40-50 hours at this firm.

At this point we feel like idiots!  We had two houses at that time, two kids, only two part time jobs and yet we were turning down jobs for full time work here in town.  We just have to say that we felt very strongly that we were living God's plan for us at that time.  We were not pleased with the circumstances, but knew we were following in obedience. 

Well, now for the exciting news.  Last Wednesday construction firm #4 who Ryan had interviewed with almost 2 months earlier called and asked if he could come in for a second interview.  Luckily Ryan was available that same day and they scheduled for that afternoon.  During the interview, they talked about his responsibilities and such and then offered him the job and quoted a salary above the number we had in our budget!  They then asked if he could start that coming Monday.  With huge excitement Ryan accepted the offer.  He is now a Project Engineer for Minnex Commercial Construction.  He assists the Project manager with paperwork tasks, getting submitals, and watching timelines but he also works on site to assist the Superintendent in work orders, changes in the plans, etc.  He is soooooooooo excited.  Although he would have accepted almost any job with a construction firm, this job is exactly what he wanted. 

As for the rest of the family, I turned in a request to my company to decrease my hours but this will not be effective till Nov. 1st so  we found a college student here in town to watch the kids after school two days a week and worked with both kids teachers to have them take the kids home the remaining days.  This first week was an adjustment, but well worth it!


Not the best picture, but this was taken first thing in the morning before I went to work at ECI and the last day that Ryan would be a stay at home daddy!